Duper

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• A new mutual fund will be available soon that will be actively managed with an algorithm that automatically buys high and sells low eliminating the need for skittish investors to lose money by themselves. 
• Spring flooding caused Rackham Golf Course to reconfigure the par 3 seventh hole around and through the adjoining Detroit Zoo Chimp House.  Play will be slowed because of the miniature choo-choo train circling the zoo perimeter.
•  At the annual Governor’s Meeting at Jackson Hole this week a bipartisan agreement by all governors to strike for higher wages and benefits was unanimously passed by the attendees.
• China in a surprise move bought all of General Motors and reported that they were changing the name of the company to Chung King Motors because a lot of people liked the egg rolls.
• Harvey Levin of TMZ has decided to move his entertainment news show to Washington, DC explaining there is a more exotic cast of characters within the Beltway. The new show will be called TMBSZ.
• The big three in mutual funds, Fidelity, Vanguard and American Funds have decided to merge into one colossal fund family explaining there isn’t that much difference between them anyway. And, they were sick and tired of having to justify to customers that indeed there were.
• The creator of Dilbert was fired.
• Detroit Lions enacted a little known NFL mercy rule that made them automatically eligible for the 2012 playoffs without playing a game. The NFL agreed because it was sick and tired of hearing fans in Detroit moaning for one chance at a title before most of them died.
• Frank Sinatra, Jr. has admitted he’s been lip synching his dad’s records for his entire entertainment lifetime. ‘I really sound more like Carmen Miranda than Frank Sinatra,’ the Junior said.
• Elvis has been living in the basement of  Eminem’s Clinton Township home.
• The Ben Bernanke admitted that the 2008-2009 Depression was an April Fool’s joke created by the Fed ‘just between us guys’ that simply got out of hand.
• The Pulitzer Prize winner of investment allocation passed away and the family announced they were having a spaghetti dinner at the VFW in order to take up a collection since he died a pauper.
• Detroit Mayor Dave Bing has approached the last remaining members of the Ottawa and offered to sell them the city of Detroit for a few strands of beads and ‘anything shiny you got laying around the house.’

April Fool. Duper is French for Fool.  Please verify anything you read or hear before acting on the information. Questions call Paul @ 877 783 7080 or write him pstanley@westminsterfinancial.com